Love Letter.

Since we are at the closing end of "love week" as I'd like to call it, I want to share this awesome "letter" a friend of mine shared with me like 4 years ago that is really special to me.

Now remember, four years ago I didn't know Matt and definitely didn't know who I would be marrying.

I was in a pretty vulnerable place, and like any high school girl I wanted more commitment than I could handle.

Amy showed me this "letter" from God and it kind of actually changed my life.

Clearly it is not a real letter from God, but I believe that this really is what He wants us all to know.

I hope this can bring hope and clarity to someone's life today.

____________________________________________________________________

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone. -To have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God says to a person;

"No, -not until you're satisfied and fulfilled and content with living, loved by Me alone and giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone. I love you, my child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I had planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me, exclusively of anyone or anything else, -exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, stop questioning, and allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait.

        Don't be anxious and don't worry. Don't look around at the things you think you want. Just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I have to show you.

        And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working this minute to have both of you ready at the same time) and until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me. -And this is perfect love.

        And, dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself. Know I love you. I am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied!"

___________________________________________________________________

Have hope and trust in He who has the most wonderful plan for your life.

God is love and all true love comes through and from Him alone.

Let me know what you think of the letter!

Have a fantastic Saturday!

xo/Austin

Incredibly Made.

Do you ever think about your body?

I don't mean what it looks like.

Or how big or small it is.

I'm talking about the anatomy of your body.

Most people don't think a lot about the anatomy of the body.

They just use the miracle of a body that they have and never think twice about it.

I would be like that too if it weren't for being forced to take A&P.

Don't get me wrong, I don't always enjoy spending my entire week studying.

I don't like staying up until 2 am going over the same information over and over.

But the pay off of this class is getting the privilege to learn about this miracle that God made.

You guys, we are so incredibly made!

Every single intricate part of our body works together to keep us alive!

We have to be the right temperature, the right muscle movement, the right neural tract, the perfect everything in order to simply live.

The ironic thing is as simple as it seems to live--it is not a simple matter.

We are miracles.

We are made in God's image.
He made us to be incredible.

So let's live our lives like the incredible people we are made to be.

In awe, 

xo/Austin

Submission.

Hey Friends.

How is this week going for you?

It's been awesome for me!

I feel so refreshed this week!

Last week was a rough one here in Lynchburg.

School was stressful and I was feeling pretty defeated!

I talked to a very wise friend of mine though and came out of the chat feeling refreshed.

I'm going to be honest, I have a problem with wanting to always control my situation. I am just like that. I'm so used to being in control.  And I like to plan. ( I mean you should see my planner, I really like to plan).

This has been a problem since I can remember. I am a control freak. Type A, get it done and done how I say it should be done.

When I gave my life to Christ I soon learned that it's not my job to be in control. I learned that in order to get the blessings that He so badly wanted to give me, I needed to give up the reigns to him.

When I first learned that, it didn't make sense to me. I don't have to control my life? Crazy!

But soon after accepting that fact and submitting my control to the Lord, it was like a huge weight was lifter from my shoulders!

That was 5 years ago.

Clearly I am not perfect yet. (Not that I think I ever will be).

This weekend though it had to happen again. For the past several months I have been holding so tightly to my plans, dreams, and future. I didn't even realize that it was controlling me! 

What I am learning in my life right now is that I have to submit to God if I truly believe that He is my Creator, King, and Father.

Not just the things I want to submit. Not just the stress, the pain, the character flaws. 

No, I have to submit everything!

That means I have to submit every relationship in my life to him. It means I have to submit my bank account, whether it is empty or full. I have to submit my dream of being an Occupational Therapist.

When I finally did that, I feel like I have lost 50 lbs.

I am not carrying around the weight of my life! Because you know what, it's not my job to carry that. And I know that because I am willing to give the most precious parts of my life to Him, he will bless me with an even brighter future than I have ever had planned!

So this week for me is awesome. 

I hope it is for you.

Question: What are you learning this week?

Love, 

xo/Austin

Take a Moment.

I don't know about you, but my weeks have been crazy lately.

I have school every day, homework, and tests.

I have coffee dates, prayer groups, and roomie bonding nights.

And I have money, car, and job problems.

It's sometimes hard for me to find a moment to sit down and relax.

I sometimes think I need to go-go-go in order to get what I need done. 

The truth is that it's better for me to take a moment every now and then to just chill.

To not plan anything, to not talk to any one, to not work on anything.

If we are always moving, always talking, always thinking, when can God tell us what we need to hear?

{At Beyond Malibu, we were assigned during a quiet time on top of Kingdom Come to just listen for every sound you hear.

We were in the middle of no where. There were no sounds. 

No cars. No sirens. No people. Nothing.

But as we sat there and listened, we all came up with a list of sounds we heard.

Creeks. Birds. Bugs. The inlet. Planes above us. And more.

When we all gathered to talk about what we heard, Mike explained to us the meaning of the exercise.

He said, "All these sounds were here the whole time, it just took you taking 5 minutes to actually listen for it. How are you going to hear God if you don't listen for him?"}

The thing is, sometimes we let being "busy" get in the way of what we should really be focusing on.

When I take a few moments out of my day to be at the expense of what God is trying to tell me, I always find I come out of that time feeling recharged and ready to finish the day strong.

So I encourage you today, take a moment from your crazy schedule.

Don't go on Facebook.

Not on Pinterest either.

And get off my blog. ;]

Sit in silence for 5 minutes and listen to every sound you hear. Write them down and at the end of the 5 minutes see what you have been missing.

Then ask God if he has anything to tell you. 

Maybe he will, maybe he won't.

The point is, take a break from life for a second.

You deserve it.

xo/Austin

Pearl of Wisdom.

Do you ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed?

Not just grumpy, but soaking in your own self pity?

I do sometimes. 

Today was one of those days. 

I woke up and had to go to my 8 am lab that I really hate, so that obviously started my day off on a poor note.

Most days I am great and happy and thankful and level headed.

Then there are those "girl days."

That's what I choose to call it, because thats what it is! It's one of those days I act like a girl. 

I have a friend who openly admits that he believe every girl is crazy. He says some are less crazy than others, and some almost never show their crazy sides, but every once in awhile that crazy side will come out and you will see her act like a "girl." 

So through my morning I was kind of moping. And have you ever noticed that when your head is in a place of self pity that everything in your life seems to be about a million times worse than it was when you went to bed only 8 hours before, yet nothing in your life has changed? That's how I know Randy is right in saying we're all crazy.

Only, I think guys have their crazy sides too. 

The truth is guys, not only are we "crazy," but we're selfish.

This morning when I was in my mood I wasn't thinking about anyone but myself. 

Poor me, I miss home.

Poor me, they don't treat me how they should treat me.

Poor me, school is hard.

Poor me, I need a job.

Poor me, I'm broke.

Poor me, poor me, poor me.

The problem with that is that thinking solely about yourself is 100% against what the bible tells us to do. 

As the day went forward, I began to think about what was so devastating in my life. 

These are the things I came up with...

1. I am a broke college student. Which I very quickly realized that the statement is an oxymoron. Simply by being enrolled in a private University like Liberty makes me a part of the top 2% of the richest people in the world. Whoa. Talk about humbling.
2. I miss home. But I get to talk with the people I love and miss every day if I choose through my iPhone or MacBook. Not to mention the fact that the people I miss are alive and well, it's not like I am missing someone I will never see again.
3. I'm tired... because you get the privilege to wake up to go to class so you can get a higher education that will result in a degree in the field of study you love. You poor thing.
4. I need a car. Do you need a car? How does the other 80+% of the world get by without those? I think you'll be fine.

At that point I stopped because it became apparent to me that my problems were problems that the very high majority of the world couldn't even imagine being so lucky to have such a "problem."

Then God slapped me in the face.

I was reading in Romans and this is what I found:

"We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he forknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family. And those whom he predestined he also called; and those whom he called he also justified; and those whom he justified he also glorified." Romans 8:28-30

 For me this caused such an impact. Not only are the "problems" in my life not problems, but they are blessings.

That passage promises that not only did my God predestine me for His purpose, but he promises that for those who love Him, all things work for the good.

I have read this many times before but it's called the "living word" for a reason. God spoke to me through this today and showed me how much he loves me.

I was so humbled that the one and only God who made this earth and everything in it predestined me. He had a plan for me from the beginning and he promises that as long as I love him everything in my life will work for good. 

Something I need to be aware of is that sometimes God's good isn't what looks good to me from my angle. But news flash, God knows more than you. He's smarter than you. And though you might think you know what is right, you never know better than God.

So today I chose to give self pity to the Lord and instead accept his promises on my life. 

I choose to be thankful for my trials and even better see them as tools to work for God's good and ultimately my good.

Question: What in your life do you let self pity take over for? Is it really that bad? Could it be that God is really using it to better your life? I don't know, think about it.

xo|Austin

When I Feel Weak.

I don't know about you guys, but I sometimes have days when I feel too weak to do anything on my own. I feel like school stress is too much for me to handle. Or maybe it's with money, or family.

I am not a girl who likes to admit that I am weak. The last thing I want to be is that girl who can't do anything on my own. I don't want to ask for help--or admit that I am struggling with something.

I have always been the girl who can do it all on my own--and do it well.

I've never been the girl to ask for help when I know I can do it on my own.

I'm definitely not the girl who goes to others with my problems, weaknesses, or defeats.

I tend to keep those parts of my life to myself rather than putting them on blast for the rest of the world to see.

But the truth is, sometimes those moments of weakness, exhaustion, or failure happen.

I know I'm not the only one they happen to...

But I do my best to act like I am the only one they don't happen to.

Tonight I found this verse...

"...but he said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' So I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak; I am strong." 2Corinthians 12:9-10

What a relief.

I am allowed to be okay with being weak.

Actually when I am weak, I am the strongest.

When we are weak God gets to really work in us. And how much stronger is Christ than we are?

Through this I am vowing to be confident in my weakness.

What about you?

Can you trust that God will show his power in your weaknesses?

Goodnight loves,

xo/Austin

God's Chisel.

They showed this video in my Evan class today. I have seen it before. But every time I see it it gets me!

How true is this? Don't we all have baggage God has to take care of for us?

I know I do. I think I get to a point where the baggage is all gone, and God opens my eyes to something else I have to give up to him.

I love that every time Tommy tries to tell God something, God already knows.

That is the truth. We forget that sometimes I think. We think that we need to hide something from God.
Because we are supposed to be all put together. Or because we have to live up to what other people tell us we have to live up to.

The truth for me and I think for all of us, is that we can't live up to perfection. God calls us to be perfect, but only to show us that it is impossible for us to be perfect on our own.

We may think we can take care of our baggage on our own, but it just starts to weigh us down. It takes over our lives and tells us that we are too messed up for love and for redemption.

In the video Tommy kept trying to control the situation.
Is that something you do? I know for sure it is something I do.
Every day I need to remind myself that I need to give up control of my life to God, who is the only one who can actually control effectively.

My favorite part of the entire video is whe God tells him "You can't let me down. You were never holding me up. I hold YOU up in this relationship."
So simple.
So true.

Thank God. Because if it is up to me to hold any kind of relationship together, I will fail every time.
I am broken, you are broken. We are from a broken world.

So thank God that he is the one who holds us up.

Thats all,
xo/Austin

When God Writes Your Love Story.

Matt's best friend in the whole world came out to visit us this past weekend. Because of this I have been thinking a lot about Matt and my story. Why? You'll understand in a second.

This is Matt and Austin's love story... As told by me... Matt's story might look different

It all started with a good-looking red-head.

[that's where Scott comes in]

Our Junior year of High School my fastpitch coach came up to Mimi (my best friend) and I after practice one day. He knew that we were both Christian, and so he asked us "Would you guys like to go to a Christian School Prom with one of my Basketball players--he's a worship leader, 3 sport starring athlete, and student body Vice President--and his buddy?" (Matt was planning on bringing Scott as his date until Mike intervened.) Without hesitation we said yes.

A week or so later his basketball player came to one of our games to meet us and watch us play. We were playing the weakest team in the league that day, and I was sitting the bench. (Thanks a lot coach.)

While I was in the dug out, Eckhart pointed at Matt and said, "that's your date, good enough?" Then so kindly, he told me that since I was riding the bench and Mimi wasn't, I got first dibs. How kind.

After the game we went out to meet him. Well we tried, but on the way the entire softball team was also trying to work their way in to "meet him." When we finally introduced and such, we all exchanged numbers and went our seperate ways.

Matt left up the decision of who goes with who to Mimi and I. We couldn't decide, so we finally just decided to draw names out of a hat. So at 1 am, in my bedroom I got out of bed, wrote an M on one paper and a S on the other. We crumpled them up, put them in a random hat and drew names. Mimi got the M and I the S, so those were our dates.

Prom was a blast (well, after my dress and hair fiasco.) I had so much fun with Scott, and Mimi and Matt really hit it off.

For awhile after, Mimi and Matt kept talking. After a few weeks though, things died down and they decided they were better off as friends.

And that was the end-- or so I thought.

In the middle of that summer, Matt asked me to go to dinner with him. I said I was busy. So he asked if I wanted to float the river with him. I said I had to work. So he asked me to hangout at his house. I don't even remember that excuse, but there was one. After 4 or 5 times blowing him off, I decided to just go ahead and hang out with him.

We went to Panda Express. Afterwards, we went back to the house I was house sitting at the time and watched a movie in their home movie theater. We had a blast! But I was still feeling something was just not quite right.

The next morning I had to go to the Eckhart's house to babysit Gabe. Matt was also meeting there in the morning because he was working with them for the day on the house they were performing construction on.

On my way to their house, my mom called and told me that our house was burning down. Apparently I was in shock, because I just told her that I had to go cause I was in line at Starbucks. I continued on my way to the Eckharts and acted like nothing was wrong.

After they left I called Mimi and asked her to come to the house so if my mom wanted me to come home Gabe would have someone to babysit him. She came, but my mom told me there was no home to come back to, so I stayed. About half way through the day I sent out a mass text and asked for prayer for my family in our time of confusion and need.

About 5 minutes after, Mike called and asked if everything was ok. I explained what happened but told them there was no need to come back, and that I was just gonna hang out there.

That day I told Matt that I didn't think things were going to work out between us. I still wasn't over my ex and I was just confused. I didn't realize this at the time, but he was devastated.

For the next few months, my life got shaken up.

I lived in the house I was house sitting for the next 6 months while our house was being rebuilt. I got back with my ex, but shortly after we realized why we broke it off in the first place, and we ended it for good. I even went kind of crazy for a month or two and did my fair share of drinking and partying.

But then it was like God grabbed me by the shoulders, shook me, and woke me up from my bad dream.

At that point I really began to lean into God and understand who I am in His eyes. He explained to me that I am not defined by who people think I am, what I've done, or the relationships I make. He told me that I am solely defined by Him.

Around this time I had started job-shaddowing Mike as a Basketball coach for my Senior Project. Not long after Matt and I started hanging out.

For the first month, I prayed to God "Change my heart from liking him." It sounds so dumb and so cliche, but I knew that if we started dating, that I would marry him. It wasn't that I didn't want to marry him, but there were some factors that I saw could play a hard role on our relationship.

1. He was going to school in Virginia and I didn't want to go through the long distance relationship.
2. Mimi and he had sort of had a thing before and I didn't want to be that girl who went after my best friends ex.
3. I just really didn't think I was good enough for him.

God kind of just laughed at my prayers. I can just imgine Him up there thinking "Are you sure you don't want this? Do you realize what you will be missing if I change your heart from Matt. Just trust me, ok?"

So I gave in and I trusted Him. And not only did he not change my heart, but I fell for Matt hard and fast. Within two months I was madly in love with Him. And by the time he left for school, I  had day-dreams about marrying him.

I could go on for days about our story. About how God was constantly working the timing for us and about how he was working in our lives seperately so we could have a life together. I could tell you everything that happened before, during, and after this all happened.

But if I were to tell you our entire love story, it would never end.

Because we are in the middle of God's love story for us.

He's still writing every day, and I am just enjoying the ride.

love,

xo/Austin

You are Being Used.

Since I left home and came to Virginia, I have been questioning a lot of things.

Why am I here?
Should I be in this major?
Am I as strong as I thought I was?

You get the idea.

Yesterday I had the coolest realization, that has just been reinforced over and over again in the past 48 hours.

My Question: Am I being of use to the Lord?

I am taking a New Testament Survey class. In which we are to read the entire New Testament by the end of the semester, and read corresponding text with it. Currently I'm in the gospel of Mark.

In my reading of the text also assigned for the class, the author is giving an overview of information that he believes we should know in order to understand the writings of the New Testament.

Throughout the text, the author is talking about different historic events in which different rulers controlled Israel. They are talking about different courses of events in which languages changed for the land, and other factual evidence like that.

Reading the text, I realized something. God had a purpose for each and every person in these historic stories. Even the worst of the rulers, God used for His purpose. Even what seemed to be the worst possible events, God knew they were coming, and He knew exactly how to use them to better His Kingdom.

This arose the question in my heart:

If God can use the most wicked of people to better His Kingdom, why couldn't He use me?

This thought process continued. I thought about all that I had just learned and all that I read about, and this question came up:

If we are saved, if we choose to give our lives to God, and know that we are going to heaven, why doesn't God just snatch us up from earth right then? Why keep us down here?

My answer to that question is this:

God doesn't need you. He doesn't need me. He didn't even need Moses or Paul or Peter. God can do it all by himself. He created us not because he needed us. He created us because he loves us and because he is the definition of love. He wanted relationship, just like we so desire relationship. God doesn't take our free will just because He is our Creator. He loves us and wants us to love him back, so he leaves the choice to us; Do you love me? Loving God means we give up our own Kingship position in our life, and set God in that position. It means we no longer are in control. It means we are not the most important thing to our life, but God is.

When God is the most important part of your life, your life should reflect that. Following his will and is word. The reason God doesn't take us the moment we decide to love him, is because we are here to be his warriors. We are here to fight the battle on God' side. He uses us to better his Kingdom and to fulfil his plan. If it were up to us, we would say, "Take me to heaven now." If it were up to me, I would want to be in heaven. Not down here with the cancer, and pain, and sadness. I would want to be with my Creator who loves me more than anyone on this planet ever could. But thats why it's not up to us. Life isn't about you or me, it is about the Lord. It is about his purpose, and his Kingdom, and his plan being fulfilled.

So next time you question, "why am I here," remember that you are here because you are useful to God.

I am useful to God. I am helping God fulfil his purpose.

Everyone want's to be a part of something bigger than themselves, right?
You are a part of God's plan--doesn't get any bigger than that.

Be confident in who you are.
Be confident in why you're here.
Be confident in the Lord.

Don't take this mission lightly, allow God to use you.

Chao, loves.

xo/Austin